Unwed Woes

Let's cut to the chase, we're wasting time. Just run and never look back....I will take you by the hand, we will close our eyes, and take this leap. Apart, we are strong, but together, we are unstoppable.... Then just when everything starts to fall into place, we hit a roadblock.

I'm torn yet again between what I need to do, and what I want to do. At what point does one exceed the other, and take over completely?

So the one I have loved for so long, and shared so many memories with, could be a figment of my imagination in a matter of seventy-two hours, and I am not sure how to handle this. At some point though, I feel like I need to take a stand and do what is right in my mind. So many nights with a soaked pillow, so many nights with medication to ease the pain, so many nights sleepless in general, and now it all seems so distant. So what to do from this point forward?

Pick up the pieces and start over?

To wed, or not to wed. What to do when the resolution to all of your problems falls into your lap? What happens, more-so, when you have an entire plan set in place, a hope, a dream, a destination so distant from the one you have always wanted, and this very thing could disrupt every event in your life from this moment forward???

you sure as hell better pray you figure it out before Saturday.

A Key to the Soul

When you look at a person you probably first notice the clothes their wearing, the way they have their hair done, or the way they walk. It could be something as insignificant as the way they hold themselves as a person...

I notice eyes. Eyes are the key to a persons soul, some say. I hold that to be true. I can take one look into someones eyes, and something life-changing can happen. I don't normally go with my gut feeling, but when something so powerful can overtake me, consume me like a virus, something as simple as a glance, it's almost impossible not to.

Why try to force something that doesn't exist? What is reality anymore? These questions, I find myself asking day and day again, yet never discovering the solutions, the answers, the relief.

Its quite heart-wrenching how something can turn into nothing, so we as humans, as lovers, try to do the opposite, and turn nothing into something, just because it fits the genre and critique we have in our mindset. It's the equivalent of sticking the square peg in the round hole: no matter how much time and effort you put into it, no matter how many different ways you try to make it work, in the end, it just isn't.

When I look into your eyes, I see the love I have always wanted.
When I look into your eyes, I see the stability I have always needed.
When I look into your eyes, I see the life I have always dreamed of...

But when I stare into your eyes, deep into your heart, I see that everything thus far, has been created in my mind. In recent events, I feel as though my eyes cannot express my feelings, and my words and actions do no justice.

I may never understand why I don't mean everything to you, but simultaneously, I don't understand why he doesn't mean everything to me. It's only when you look me in the eyes, that I must face the truth.

"He's everything you want, he's everything you need, he's everything inside of you that you wish you could be...He says all the right things, at exactly the right time...but he means nothing to you
And you don't know why. You're waiting for someone, to put you together. You're waiting for someone to push you away....There's always another wound to discover, there's always something more you wish he'd say. But you'll just sit tight, and watch it unwind....It's only what you're asking for And you'll be just fine, with all of your time, it's only what you're waiting for..."

What Is Love

I can't hold it back any longer, I must do whats best for me, and not what my heart keeps leading me into. Some say follow you heart, but what happens when all that does is lead you down a neverending road of heartache that spins your emotions in circles day after day.

It's becoming unbearable. Im torn at the seams, for my heart is saying stay, and mind is simply saying run away as fast as you can and don't look back. Maybe just maybe it won't hurt as bad that way. But in all actuality, will it hurt this time?

You make me feel ways I haven't in such a long time, it's almost pitiful. Seeing my phone go off, and your name scrolling across the top just might make my heart skip a beat. You are everything I have ever wanted, but have been too afraid to venture out and find. The fact that we have fallen in eachothers life by mere coinsidence, just when we both need it most, is fate.

You're everything inside of me that I wish I could be. You may possibly be the missing piece to my puzzle, and have the ability to not cover the hole of pain that I must open, but fill it, oh so perfectly. Words cannot begin to describe what you are in a person, because you are beyond what nouns, verbs, and adjectives can begin to piece together.

I'm ready to take a leap of faith, and start a journey, because I am finally realizing who is worth the ride.

Baby don't hurt me, no more.